What does goodbye means?Look it up in your dictionary it may say that goodbye is an expression use when you're parting with someone or something,at the moment when they are leaving you behind.How many types of goodbyes are there?This isn't something you can look through your heavy and thick Oxford dictionary.This is something you learn throughout your entire life.Nobody can give you a list of goodbyes situation you'll face at certain period in your life.You'll find them one by one gradually,there's no guarantee you'll find all of it,but you certainly will face some of it at some point of your life.And no one can tell you what you've found is wrong or right.The lesson you learn from your life isn't some mathematical problems where there's only one correct answer or when the value is too big we'll just have to conclude it as infinity or when it's against the logic or ridiculous,undefined will come as the answer.Something that is true to you might not be true to someone else and something you cherish with all your heart is probably just another rock at the side of the road to someone else.
Now let's get back to the type of goodbyes I said earlier.From my experiences there are the simple "I'll see you tomorrow" goodbye,the promising "see you soon" goodbye,the hopeful "hope to see you again one day" goodbye,the painful "let's go on our own ways" goodbye and the self denying "I'm so over it" goodbye or what I call as the never ending goodbye.A goodbye that you said repeatedly yet it doesn't seem to come to an end no matter how frequently you said it out loud or as a reminder to your heart.
I thought by saying everything is over and it's really really over the goodbye will come easier.My brain know for a fact that the goodbye I'm experiencing isn't something that's within my control or the other person's control.It's the fated journey that I've to accept and as a weak human,there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening.I tried to act strong and to leave it behind me and move on.I was living well,I'm starting to forget that part of my life,that undesired event.I thought it's because I'm strong and that my heart understand that it's something nobody can retrieve back.
Little did I know that my success in getting over it for a while is mainly because I didn't face with anything related to it.And recently,when I saw something that related to it,the strong emotion come back and without realizing it,my good mood has instantly changed to a depressing feeling that I can't exactly explain.That's why I'm writing about it now.Because of this,I realize that some things never really leave.It's still deep in our heart and just by a tiny cause,it can be stimulated to surface again.No matter how many times we tell ourselves it's over,no matter how much we realize it's stupid to hope for it to come around again,our hearts just won't listen to our brains.
This is what I'm experiencing now.Although we didn't have an appropriate exchange of goodbye's phrases,I know for a reality that it's a farewell for us.And there's nothing can be done about it and there's no way that we can meet again at any time in this life.I almost cried and my heart feel like it's burning,but this goodbye I've been trying to make it as real still hasn't leave me.I don't know what else is there to do beside trying to be strong and avoiding every single thing that can remind me of it.
You guys must be wondering what exactly am I experiencing that it's so hard to say goodbye to it?So that you know,a schoolmate of mine died in an accident on New Year day this year,January 1,2011 early in the morning.It comes as shock to most of our friends.And being quite close to him since we have the same group of friends,his lost really affected me.Every now and then,I'll see his facebook account pop up on my window whenever facebook trying to suggest me to invite others to join the game,event,pages or anything like that.Seeing his facebook is still there on my suggestion window,it feels like he's still there around us,like he's never really leave.But I know,he's already in a different world than all of us,I can't never meet him again,he'll no longer post his status update on facebook,but his name and memories never fade away in our minds.So appreciate those around you,especially your family and close friends.We never know when they'll leave us or if we'll leave them.Avoid argument and cold war no matter how much anger you have towards them.Don't say things you know will hurt them or things that you don't actually meant.If they suddenly leave you and your last words towards them is negative,you'll be left miserable for your whole life.Other than that,make sure you live your life to the fullest and don't let your worries trouble you.Life is too short to dwell on unhappy things for too long.
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