Thank you

Not quite sure how to go about this since it's rather personal for me. I'm such a private person that it's hard for me to open up no matter how long I might have known someone. Something that others might deem as not a big deal or not personal in anyway can be the same thing that I'll consider and reconsider before I decide to share with someone. And this is one of it.

It's not a special occasion or anything but when people said they're thinking of you and decided to buy something for you, even a simple stuff like this can be special in its own way. And it's not so much about what they're buying for me, but more of their repeated similar gestures that got me every time. While I'm writing this, I keep on deleting it thinking that it's too personal for me to write this down, but I think, for some people, for people who seems to effortlessly climbing the walls that you're building each time, they're worth it.

If ever one day I'm brave enough to wear my heart on my sleeve, I hope that they'll be one of the first people that I'll show my heart to.

Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day

Alright now, who made this ridiculous prank? You better surrender yourself because apparently the entire internet is clueless of the origin of this absurd day. Seriously what the heck is a "fabulous wild men"? Because when someone say fabulous I think of a self proclaimed flamboyant good looking man who drive a Mercedes just to impress the ladies. And then wild makes me think of Tarzan and Robinson Crusoe which aren't that appealing to me. So uhh, can't I just use this day to feast on a rather cute hot clean-shaved Spanish guy instead? Just kidding. Really. Trust me I don't stalk Spanish guy everyday on Instagram. Where are we again? Oh right, fabulous wild men. The way I see it, it can also refers to guy that is wild in the romance department or on a more serious note, in the legal department. Anyway either they are a heartbreaker or rules breaker, let's feast on these list of guys that I think fix the description. So keep your box of tissue close and stay away from the police cause these guys about to go wild and break everything in sight. Hopefully in a figurative way.

Johnny Depp
I have to admit I'm not a fan of facial hair and I find guys with facial hair messy and unattractive most of the time. But as it has always been, there's an exception. And that exception come in the form of dark, brooding with an air of mystery named Johnny Depp. In all honesty, he's not attractive in the typical way a guy is, like he's not the handsome or the good looking heartthrob girls always drools over. But I have to say he has such a sexy lips and deep eyes that seems to swallow you as a whole. And the fact that he always play unconventional characters gave him this image as a rebel and its just something about bad boy that makes all women weak in the knees or the heart to be accurate. To be fair in this modern society I don't think anything spells wild more than a hot 19th century pirate. He has also gotten his share of trouble with the legal authorities with his known temper and the most recently the rumors of his abusive behavior to his wife Amber Heard.

John Mayer
Yes, another guy that doesn't typically fit in my book of good looking celebrity. But his dark locks and sweet voice definitely will swoon any girls in sight. And that's probably how he managed to date many equally attractive celebrities (mmm, equally problematic too) such as Jessica Simpson, Cameron Diaz, Mandy Moore and Taylor Swift. Notoriously known as the douchebags of the industry he's always making an offensive statements in media and sharing his interestingly unpleasant theory uhh, his crayon philosophy anyone? But if we managed to close our eyes to the fact that he checked everything in the bad boy list and just listen to his music, him as a singer songwriter, well he's definitely a romance worth dreaming of. Now imagine him writing and singing a song for you. It doesn't seem as bad right?

Colin Farrell
It seems that tall, dark, deep eyes men are my definition of fabulous wild men. Bad guys are probably more alike than we think they actually are. I think I started to notice him when he acted in the Minority Report and also Total Recall which are a good movie by the way. Always being listed as attractive guy across the Internet and magazines over the years, this Irish actor admitted to his drug and alcohol problems which he's struggling to overcome. Add on his foul mouthed habit, he's really a troubled guy. But that's no reason for the ladies to stay away from him, and among his long girlfriend lists are famous celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Carmen Electra and Demi Moore. However it's also hard to ignore the good he has done especially being involved in many charities such as the Foundation for Angelman Syndrome Therapeutics, UNICEF and The World Food Programme to name a few. So he's not all a bad seed, ladies!

Now of course there are a lot more out man out there that can fit into the fabulous wild men description. But this is what I can think of and whom I find at least attractive to fit the type. Can you think more of any other famous people that represent this type? Or do you have any other definition for this day? Share it with me in the comment section. Till then have a nice day!

Curried chicken day

As a member of the chicken curry lovers club, I am embarrassed that I didn't know the existence of the day my favourite dish is being celebrated. How could this be?! Honestly I'm blaming the entire nation for not making this day popular. I mean we should have a public holiday for this where everyone go to a restaurants to get curry chicken and some family restaurant broke a record for the most amount of curry chicken ever produce in a day. 

Be it the red curry or green curry, this dish is heaven with its rich spices and savory taste. Even though it's one of India's signatures dish, it's widespread and common in other part of the world too such as South East Asia and part of Carribean. Curry is also a special dish in UK where for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth in 1953 a special curry dish called Coronation Chicken is invented. To celebrate this special day, here's a recipe for a typical South East Asian curry chicken, just the way I like it. If you haven't tried curry before, you should totally head over to any restaurant that serve this delicacy, I promise you won't be disappointed! 

This is a recipe from Annielicious Food blog for curry chicken Southeast Asian style.

Ingredients 

• 1 whole chicken, cut into big pieces     
  
• 4 potatoes, cut into big chunks
• 150ml coconut milk
• 500ml water, or more if you want
• 5 to 6 tbsp curry powder
• 2 tbsp chilli paste
• 10 to 15 leaf of curry leaves
• 5 bulbs shallots
• 5 cloves garlic
• 1 stalk lemongrass, bruised
• Cooking oil
• 1 tbsp salt or more to taste
• 1 tbsp sugar, or more to taste

Methods

1. Grind shallot and garlic into paste. 
2. Mix curry powder and chilli paste with 3 to 4 tbsp (or more) of water to form a smooth paste. 
3. In a large wok, or pot, heat up oil, fry shallot, garlic, curry leaves, lemongrass and curry paste till fragrant.
4. Add in chicken pieces, sear the chicken pieces, like for 5 mins or so. 
5. Add in water, bring to boil. Once boiled, add in potatoes, mix well, cover up and let it simmer for about 10mins under low heat. 
6. Season with salt and sugar. Add in coconut milk and let it boil. Once boiled, taste. If the taste is right, then heat off, leave it there for 10mins before you dish up and serve. 

Special Day Everyday

Today is a special day! Because I'm again posting an entry here after what feels like forever. So to commemorate this day, I searched up for today's date to see if it's a celebration day for anything. And indeed, it is a special day. The are a few things being celebrated today from a gravy dish to working inspiration. While Curried Chicken Day and Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day get an entry of their own, I grouped the rest together in this list and you can choose your pick or just celebrate all of it, it doesn't hurt to have more causes for celebration anyway, *wink*. And now put on your best dress and get ready on your heels for this special list before you go out for a celebration. Happy day everyone!

Healthy Weight Healthy Look Day
If you're looking for a sign to start managing your weight and to lead a more healthy life, then this is it. This is the sign. And no, this isn't just about losing your weight, that's not the only thing in the entire healthy lifestyle universe mind you. Being healthy isn't just about eating healthy food but it also involve what we do in our day to be productive. So shoosh away your phone and laptop for today. Go out for a jog or a walk at your nearest park and be comfortable with your sweats, which is actually one of the weirdest thing I've ever say, hmmm. Well, anyway today is a good day to put your rusted muscles to use, let's go.

International Kiss a Ginger Day

Probably my favourite red haired
in the entire world 

No. Wait up. Don't just randomly go to your kitchen and make out with the ginger your mom bought from the grocery store, this isn't what the day is about. This is the day for us to show and spread the love for ginger colored hair gal and guy. This day has been created in response to a campaign Kick a Ginger (now don't hate them, I swear they're just desperate to kick some balls). I think all the hate and bullying of red-headed people come from the jealousy of such shallow souls. I'm gonna admit, red hair people are among the most attractive human being and not to mention they're really special since only 1-2% of them existed in the world which make them rare. Thanks to Derek Forgie, since 2009 this date has been dedicated to a much more peaceful activity, less kicking and uh, more kissing. So go kiss that ginger girl you have a crush on and proudly use this excuse. Or take a safer road and give them some Kisses chocolate, they'll sure to love it!

Work Harder Day
This is probably a made up day that I just can't seem to find the origin. But it's all for a good cause which deserves a celebration. Or is there a possibility this day was created by some underground employers club or community? I don't know, my lazy ass is being skeptical I guess. See that? See how unenthusiastic I am right now? I mean come on, how on earth do you celebrate a day for working harder? By working past the hours and into the morning? Yuck, I don't remember celebration is another word for suffering. Or by partying all day as a reward after working hard? Emm, that isn't the right thing to do on this day either, is it? And instead of working harder, I'll prefer to work smart and efficient and safe myself from the misery. Well now, let's just call this an awkward thing to be celebrated and get back to work. We need to work harder today don't we?

National Marzipan Day
I have a feeling that we actually have a holiday for every food that ever existed. This colorful candy with adorable shapes are made of ground almond mixed with sugar, honey or corn syrup. Sometimes almond oil or extract will be added too to achieve a stronger flavor. To celebrate this day you can either make marzipans yourself or better yet to stop at a confectionery store nearby and get yourself a marzipan to have a taste of this sweet day.

National Pharmacists Day
Well of course this is the day to celebrate the pharmacists who always know what you needed in time of need, well, medically speaking. Trust me, we wouldn't have survived until now if it isn't for the pharmacists making our days much more bearable especially when we're just not in the best condition. If you happen to be at a pharmacy today, show your gratefulness to them and wish them well so that next time your drop by, you're not going to worry if they're prescribing you to some weird strong drug again.

So haven't find any thing for a cause of celebration? Look up my next post for Curried Chicken Day and Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day!

Monday Blues

Morning! So it's Monday. Again. God, I feel like it's just yesterday I was resting peacefully at home, lying on the bed not caring about anything at all and now I'm back in my lab. Wait. That was indeed yesterday. Whatever. The thing is it takes lots of mentally reminding yourself it's gonna be Friday again soon to get up from the bed in the morning and went to the lab. Sigh. Why is Monday blues even a thing? Why does it even exist?

Monday is probably the day I'll be the laziest cuz I'm still pretty much in my weekends mood. Do you guys know there's really actually a Blue Monday day? Heck, I didn't even know it before until I came across it a few days ago. I was searching for new teen movies to watch and next thing I know I was on a Blue Monday page on wikipedia. So according to our reliable wikipedia (in my mind, it is reliable, 60% of what I learned in class makes sense when I read the wiki page for it so there, it is reliable) Blue Monday typically falls on the third Monday in January supposedly to be the most depressing day of the year. Haha, how does that sounds to you? I can't even believe we have the most depressing day of the year.

Seriously I'm not gonna write down here all the things about Blue Monday, geez as if I need more of it already. You can in all honesty read it on its wiki page here and embrace yourself in all that Blue Monday vibe if you're into it. By the way they also concluded the happiest days of the year apparently. So read it!

So I'm gonna leave now and resume my own Blue Monday while counting down to my dearest Friday. Till then, let's just pretend this day don't even exist, should we? So happy not Monday to you peeps!

Still Here..

Hey, so just a quick update. How are you guys doing? Hopefully you guys are doing good, awesome better because I'm great. Haha, okay so life is a little bit on the boring side for me. Nothing big happened or is happening. Like all I do everything is force myself to go to lab, doing my research works, wondering over what I'm having for my lunch and dinner, and then go home and that's it. Yeah. it's a routine. But I don't feel like it's a bad one. That's what is on my plate right now.

Anyhow, there's really nothing much to update really. Oh and by the way, my non-existent social life is doing just fine. Which means no connection whatsoever. Not like I'm not making any connection with anybody but nothing new about it. So yeah boring. Whatever. Now allow me to go back to obsessing over my Asian hottie, Justin Bieber and also 5SOS. I'll try to write a better entry next time, until then ciao. 

The Feeling of Freedom

When do you feel you're free?

So someone asked me this question today. And she's not asking about my schedule or because she wanted to ask me to go out with her or anything. But she was asking about the feeling of freedom. When do I feel that? And I can't quickly answer her. Though there's one thing in my mind as soon as I heard the question which is not the answer. But the fact that I don't think I've ever feel free.

But what is freedom or this free feeling she's talking about exactly After thinking about it I gave her two answers. The first one when I climbed or go hiking, because higher places like hills make me feel free. Being on the top and seeing all those buildings, streets, people and simply the town you're living in down there, it makes me feel like for a moment, while I'm on top, I'm not part of it. Like, I'm escaping from it. It's like letting go of whatever that is holding me back and defining my life and all those stuff that makes me as me. And that feeling of escaping and letting go and not owning your life for as long as you're on top it feels like a freedom to me.

But right after giving my first answer of being on higher places and as I think about the question in a much serious note, I thought about another situation in which I do feel free too. That is being with your family. This should have come as my first thought I think but it doesn't help that it has been a while since I've spend time with my family and I almost forgot how it felt to be with them. I've been staying away from my family since I was 18 years old which makes it 5 years of not living with them by the end of 2014 and now I'm continuing in my 6th year. Being with people who don't judge you and whom you know will always be there for you no matter what happen and who will always take up all your shits and make up for all the things you screw up, I think that is freedom. And just like being on the hill, when I go back to my family even for just one or two days I have that feeling of letting go of my life for a while, lifting my burdens and just be a children to my parents.

And speaking of children, I think that is freedom too. You know those years when we don't exactly have all these negative thoughts and things that hold us back from doing anything we wanted to do. Like our biggest worry at those time was probably when we are rushing home right after school because we're afraid we couldn't make it to watch our favorite shows. And we don't even care that our favorite shows was Are You Afraid of The Dark? (what, it's a cool show okay ) instead of watching Pokemon or Blue Clues like other kids. Being able to do what you want without concerning how other feels about it is freedom too.

So what is free feeling? Obviously it is subjective. Or perspective I might say. The way we're living our lives will determine the answer. I still don't know if I gave a good answer to my friend and perhaps if she asked me again on another time my answer will be different. But whatever the answer you have to this question, just know that you should treasure anything or anyone that can give you that feeling. Because trust me it is all rare item. Limited edition. Have a nice day, everyone :)

That 4 Lads From Australia

So I have new obsession. Okay not quite new, I have liked them for quite some time already, but my obsession couldn't get a full swing with limited proper videos, audios, interviews and exposure of these guys. But now they have finally launched their music career and with a blast at that, it is so much easier to obsess about them and not that I can resist it, haha. Well, finally all those times watching all those bad quality videos and fan-deafening show performances are paid off. Their self-titled debut album has already come out somewhere in June, 2014 which you can basically listen to on repeat and ready to bleed your ears. Lol, at least that's what it does to me.   

Okay seriously, I found out about this band late in 2012 when someone on Twitter shared one of their YouTube videos with me. So I just casually checked them out on YouTube not really expecting anything. And nor did I get anything either after watching it. Like, it's all because of the bad quality of the video and I can't really hear them singing clearly. So i went on and checked all their other videos and all I can say at that time was, wow these guys goof around a lot, like really a lot. Are they seriously want to sing or they just want to have fun? But I can't really stop myself from laughing along with them as they forgot the lyrics, sung in a really weird voices, running from their parents and just really playing like they were in some playground. And that's what makes them different from others. They actually have fun with what they are doing. Doesn't mean they are any less serious though. They write most of their songs. And they play instruments. Yeah, they're surely not another pop band on their way.

Sigh..I think I went on and ranting again. Lol, that is just so like me. But all I want to say is this band is different than what the world mainstream entertainment had and it's kind of attractive in its way. Hey, being different is attractive. ^^ But either it is good different or bad different, I think we have to watch them for some time before we can decide on that. But right now, while they're still fresh from being YouTube famous, they're definiely a good different. What? Are you actually waiting for me to properly introduce and feed you with all the info about this band? Nahh...I'm not gonna do that. You can find that in just about another hundreds of website dedicated for them. Hehe..sorry...^^

What....did you just say they're just another One Direction material Nononono, don't even go there. How the heck they are anything like 1D? I have nothing against 1D, I'm in fact a fan of 1D too, but treating 5SOS as another 1D version 2.0 is just so wrong. (shaking my head in disappointment) You see they played their own instruments. And they write their own songs. And have you seen their album cover? Have you listened to their songs? They're definitely not a pretty boy kind of band and they surely not serenading a girl with sweet melody and lyrics about how naturally pretty she is. So yeah, this argument is invalid. 

For a starter listen to She Looks So Perfect which has already break through the Billboards. Or Amnesia which is just the opposite of She Looks So Perfect but just as addictive as SLSP (that is She Looks So Perfect for you, dude, you can't expect me to write such long title again and again, right?) But my personal suggestion? You should definitely listen to Out of My Lemon lol no, just kidding, that's not their song title. I mean, Out of My Limit and Eighteen. That is the real stuff about them although sadly the songs are not in their debut album. 

Owh lovely, we have reach at the end of this entry and all I ever wanted to say is that this band is awesome and I'm in love no, I mean I'm addicted and obsessed with them. I know, I know, this is one useless post, it's as if I didn't say anything at all, just bear with me will ya? 

Image stole from:  http://www.5sosonline.com

It’s Finally The Last Month of The Year

 

Hello, hi everyone. I hope you guys are doing fine no matter in which corner of the world you are. And thanks for still being here with me through my irregular updates on this blog. Yeah, can't help it that I'm not a habitual writer >_k. But anyway so much has happened since the last time I made an update. Like I have actually graduated from my biotechnology degree program. Yippeee...so I can finally say goodbye to those years of studying ^0^~~  ...not. As a matter of fact I'm preparing for my master right now. I don't think I will be taking master this fast honestly, but yeah, things just turned out that way for me. 

Things have been changing very little for other parts of my life though. Some relationships fell apart and new relationships fall together. And some relationship is still as ambiguous as it was before. Not gonna elaborate on that though. I'm the kind of person who like to let fate or the other person to take the lead on how the relationship progress, so yeah, I'm not gonna do anything about some standing still relationship. Let it be is the way to go.

But anyway between all those blurry lines and not knowing which one is my next stop, here I am, at the very last month of the year. So I was still a degree student by this time around last year, and now I'm an unofficial master student. Owh, I wish my offer letter will come faster. 

So I'm not going to go into my ranting mood about how my past months have been and what I'm expecting for this December. But in all seriousness, December, please be nice to me. (≧∇≦)b

 

Maybe it's us who's changing

Change. Transformation. Transition. Whatever one might call it, it's a word people use to describe something that is no longer the way it is previously. It can be anything. The surrounding, rules, society, people, or relationship. What cause it? There are many factors which may interlink with each other’s. Changes in surrounding can change people which in turn can change the society and so on. I bet anyone of us have heard at least once from the people around us saying things have changed or perhaps we said it ourselves.

          Some changes happen because we make it happen while others occur on their own, unconsciously to those affected by it. And some people like the changes while others discourage it. I honestly don't really fancy the idea of change be it in surroundings or relationship. But as we go through life, as we grow up, things will inevitably change either gradually or drastically. We can't deny the fact that we're changing too. We're one year older with each new year that comes and we move from one grade to another. We left school, we started college or we enter the work field.

          Doesn't this mean change happens all the time? It's like a pattern that repeats itself again and again. But it's a random pattern that we don't know what form it's going to take every time it changes. So, why we are still making a big deal over changes that occur around us? Perhaps because we're still the same. Suddenly we don't get the jokes our friends are making anymore, we don't get the conversation our family are having over dinner and we don't get the temperament he's showing in the phone call at night. Then everything drifts apart even before we know it. We stop hanging out, we stop texting each other and we're left on our own.

          That's when we concluded that the other person has changed. Perhaps because that's the simplest logic to the broken relationship. Or it's easier to think like that than putting the blame on ourselves. But we forgot that change happen all the time. We're always moving forward, as the clock ticking, we're leaving the seconds which already became the past. We left our home, our school and our town. We went to separate ways and live in different environment and spend our time with different people.

I realize then the me now is no longer the same me I see in the photograph taken from my school's days. I feel like my hometown friends are becoming someone I don't know, but so am I. But it doesn't feel like anything changes or we're changing although we're miles apart because as we change together our relationship is still as strong as before. Our relationship hasn't change. We used to like the same songs but now we share different songs that we like with each other and for that reason it seems like nothing change between us. Either it is before or now, we're still listening to the same song. I learn to like her favorite song and she learns to sing mine.

          As I look closely at my friendship with my friend, I realize it's not that none of us are changing. In fact, both of us are changing, shifting our favorites and laugh at different jokes. But what makes our relationship to stay is our effort to accept the changes and to share it with one another. I'm glad I have a friend like her and I'm proud with our friendship. I love you LPL..:) 

         So, if you feel like things or a person is changing, don't be quick to point your finger at them. Remember you're changing too even though you don't realize it. If you're really honest in your relationship with them, it doesn't really matter who they were before and who they're becoming now. It only matters what the relationship means to you and to them. Take it as a challenge as though you're trying to know a new person if it comes to that. May everyone be blessed in their relationships. ^^

Random Act of Kindness

Have you ever give up your seat on the bus or train for someone else? Or help to carry heavy things for others? Perhaps you've given up your turn in the line to someone behind you who has fewer items than you at the counter?

          If your answer is yes to any of the questions, congratulation ~~*^v^*~~ You have just done a random act of kindness. So what is that supposed to mean exactly? Alright, don't worry, it's nothing complex. Random act of kindness simply means doing your good deed to a complete stranger who you don't know in your life or you've never seen before.

          Of course every one of us have done some good things to people around us like me, I've been helping my mother to wash the dishes after every meals. No scratch that, that's one of my chores. And I've helped my friends too here and now or they might unfriend me (lol just kidding). Anyway, I'm sure you guys get it now; it's showing your kindness to someone whom you won't get any benefit from.

          There are many ways to spread your good deeds to strangers. And the basic of the basic, especially for the laziest people who still want to do some kind of good deeds to others next time you went to the restaurant, remember to say thank you to the waiters and waitresses that bring your foods to the table. Say thanks to the lady at the counter after paying for the stuffs. Don't want to communicate with strangers at all? Well here's the easiest one. Smile to everyone you see.  Smile to that cleaner at the building or to that fierce librarian who won't allow you into the library with slippers on. Don't overdo it though. If you grin like you've just won a lottery or something to a complete stranger they're going to assume you're mentally retarded or perhaps you're flirting with them.

          Think all that is a meh and you can do much better than that ? Here's an idea. Clean up your own table after the meal and throw you dirty dish to its container if it’s available. You make their job easier and also the next person can quickly seat there. You're not in a rush? Then help those tourists to take the right public transport to the national museum. Ever wonder how on earth a canned corn got stuck between the meats section at supermarket? Take it with you and return it to its shelf. And don't pretend you don't see that candy wrappers when you're walking. I'm sure there's trash can somewhere nearby. You step on a coin? Or a dollar? Take it, but don't put it into your pocket please. Bring it to the missing item counter and let them handle it. It may means more than a dollar to the person who dropped it. Or maybe you can put it into the charity case or whatever you call it.

          Why suddenly I'm writing about this? I just feel like I want to share this with others and perhaps I can make at least one person who's reading this to do any act of kindness to random people. I've seen it often how people treat others for granted. Rarely anyone say thank you to the waiter, cashier or the cleaner simply because we think it's their work anyway to do it. If and if only we show some kind of appreciation to others, they will be happier to do it and believe me, we'll be happy too. Only those who have done it will know how it feels like. There's some kind of satisfaction, achievement and happiness when we do this. Don't believe me? Well, why don't you try it out and tell me about it. Go spread the good virus. Woo hoo... !!!

A cloud's silver lining

Misfortune had just hit me right on my face a few weeks ago. It is the worst thing that ever happened in my life. And just what is that? I got stolen. I lost my scholarship money for the entire semester and also my cellphone while I was entering the faculty computer lab and left my bag at the outside. I didn't even realize it until about two hours after that. And by that time, it was already too late. The culprit has withdrawn all my money from my ATM card.

After repeating it for about hundreds of time to different people while filing a report to both the police and the security of my university, I really don't feel like going through all the details once again here. So the gist is I got stolen big time and what even worse is that I saw the culprit through the security camera although it's rather blur and still there's nothing could be done to catch that scum (mind my term). All I can think until now is that, all the security cameras were useless if it can't even make out what's the skin color or the distinct features of one's face. Well, CSI officers, just where the hell are you right now?

As far as I'm aware, catching the culprit has the same possibility as catching a big foot right in the middle of the city. That's another way of saying impossible and let's just get over it and let's find something else to do instead. I can't even rely on the police. It's embarrassing to say, but for me the police in my country is not the most trustful and reliable person I can depend on. And with the attitude the police in charge of my case is showing, I had even more less faith that he's even doing anything to get the case solved.

Anyway I received a lot of helps and supports from my friends all the while I'm making the reports, renewing my card and clearing all other messes the culprit had made. If it weren't for them God knows if I can even manage everything on my own. I am really grateful to them although I can't really express it. I wish I can say more than thank you to them, but there's really nothing I can do for now. I realize then how true is the saying that what one can do to others is being there for them.

One of my friends gave me some money although I refuse to take it at first. I don't really feel good to receive it since what she has done by accompanying me the whole day is more than enough. I really should pay her back. And others have collected some fund for me which also I received it. To be honest I really don't want to receive the fund since it's from many people, but as I think about it, I can refuse a money from one person but how can I ask them to return the money back to all the students who have gave it? It seemed rude and I have no choice but to accept them.

Maybe some will wonder why I make such a big deal about receiving money and help from friends. But for me it is. The reason why I don't expect much from others and don't really attach myself to others is because I don't want to depend to them so much and also I don't want to treat them differently. I don't want to treat a friend a little nice because she's nice to me while giving another friend a cold shoulder because she's not helping me with anything. Friends with benefits? I don't think it even should be called as friendship. Friendship should be honest and pure. If not it's nothing but just a mere relation between two people.

I just hope I can stay true to myself and will continue to treat others the same. To the friends who have been helping me all this while I can only receive their helps and say thanks, but how I wish they know how grateful I feel towards them. I'm lucky to have them as my friends. And from now on, I'm just going to hold onto the hidden silver lining of this cloud in my life...:)

Beast Teaching on L.O.V.E

（〜^∇^)〜（〜^∇^)〜（〜^∇^)〜First let us dance to celebrate Beast for their comeback and new album. This is a happy occasion for all the fans especially B2uties. I’ve always like Beast for their songs and also their main vocal Yoseob (gwiyeowo) and their rapper Junhyung (so cool, so Beast!). I actually learned to dance to a few of their songs like Fiction and Beautiful, just because I love the dance choreography so much.

But their recent comeback shows another side of them. The title song Shadows is written by Junhyung himself and it revolves about a person who doesn’t want to leave his loved one and doesn’t mind to be the shadow so that he will always be there for her. The concept is very much like their previous songs and the choreography as usual, only belongs to Beast. It shows their cool, manly side very well and I really like the dance. Dongwoon, the maknae has described the dance as hating someone and beating him before you reconcile back in Weekly Idol. You guys should watch it. It was so funny and weird at the same time the way he was explaining about the dance.

More than their title song though, I’m more hooked up in their other songs especially How to Love and You’re Bad. I can’t help to fall in love with the way the lyrics were written so poetically in both songs. Especially in How to Love, it’s beautifully written in the first verse where it sums up what love is all about that one should know. The lyrics narrowed the point right into the basic of loving someone which many have overlooked nowadays. It pointed out how falling in love can be easy if only people disregard a few things that has stopped them from doing so. I feel like the song is directed to people like me who find it hard to fall in love or even to like someone. For that reason I feel so attached to the song as though someone is telling me what I should have done to be able to love.

Contrary to How to Love, You’re Bad deals with a guy who still can’t get over his ex and couldn’t understand how his ex could forget him so easily and move on. He hates her for being happy without him and hoping that she would be unhappy so that she would come back to him. It's quite catchy and I've been pretending I'm Dongwoon ever since by singing the chorus part all the time. Apparently, many of the songs take a spin on a broken relationship. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the member break up (ehem, you know who), but I can feel the sincerity in this album and I don’t think it is done just base on one factor and it’s definitely not being done hastily either.

Maybe some of the fans don’t like their new songs since there are not many dance numbers and also slow beat, but for me, they have improved a lot and this album is much more meaningful when you look at the lyrics of each songs. I'm falling in love with them all over again.